Healing After Miscarriage: Finding God’s Comfort in Grief

Healing after our first miscarriage has been one of the hardest and most tender journeys of my life. Miscarriage is something no woman ever imagines she will face. When it happens, the weight of grief can feel unbearable. Yet even in the midst of heartbreak, God is near, bringing us comfort, peace, and the reminder that, although we may not understand it, His plans for us are good.

I want to share our story openly, not only to honor the life of our first baby but to also offer hope to anyone walking through a similar season of loss. Miscarriage is a chapter I never wanted to write, but it is part of our family’s story. In sharing our story, I pray that you find encouragement and hope.

If you are reading this because you too have experienced miscarriage or loss, please know you are not alone. Your baby matters, your grief matters, and your healing matters. Even here in this deep sorrow, God is faithfully by our side.

Our Journey to Pregnancy after Infertility:

After over a decade of infertility and grieving month after month with each negative test and failed treatments, our hearts were weary. But our hope and faith in God’s plan remained steadfast.

Then, it finally happened. We were pregnant.

This timing felt so perfectly aligned with God’s plan. I had always dreamed of being a stay at home mom. We had just made the decision for me to step away from my teaching career, to rest, focus on my health, and pour myself into growing the family we had long prayed for. The timing couldn’t be more perfect!!

Even before I took the test, I knew in my heart that I was pregnant. Driving home from my HCG blood draw, tears streamed down my face as the song ‘Gratitude’ by Brandon Lake played on the radio. This was it. Our long-awaited miracle.

When the positive test finally confirmed what I already felt, it was a floodgate of emotions: relief, joy, overwhelming hope, and excitement all at once. I was so full of joy!

The Joy of New Life After Waiting in Hope:

I called my husband, who was on his way home from a work trip. The pride and joy in his voice when I told him the news still lingers in my heart. That night, when he got home, we celebrated the goodness of God and the miracle of new life growing within me.

We shared the news with family and close friends. We dreamed, we planned, we praised God for this blessing. For the first time in our fertility journey, it felt like everything was falling into place.

The First Sign Something Was Wrong:

At our first ultrasound, joy washed over me when I saw our tiny baby’s flickering heartbeat. But my doctor’s tone quickly reminded me how fragile life is. She gently told me that things weren’t quite lining up, our baby measured small, and their heartbeat was weaker than it should be. She reassured me not to worry yet, but wanted me back in a week.

Within that week, as my husband was away fighting wildfires, I felt something shift deep within me. And one night our two dogs, uncharacteristically, curled up with their heads against my belly all night, as if they knew. My mothering instincts whispered what I didn’t want to believe, our baby’s life was slipping away.

Facing the Heartbreak of Our First Miscarriage:

When I returned for the next ultrasound, my heart leapt as the screen showed a visibly bigger baby. ‘She’s growing’, I thought. My hope restored for a moment, until the silence in the room grew heavy, as my doctor searched for a heartbeat. The heartbeat was gone.

Our baby no longer lived.

My world stopped. I laid there on that table as my heart crumbled. The joy that had been building for weeks was ripped away in an instant.

My mom sat beside me, her presence was a lifeline as I tried to process the unthinkable. My doctor was gentle and kind, her compassion was exactly what I needed in that moment. But even with her tender words all I could feel was the ache of loss in every part of me.

🌿 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
(Psalm 34:18)

Even in that devastating moment, I knew God was near. He was there to catch my tears and hold my heart as it shattered.

Healing after miscarriage through God’s Presence:

The days and weeks that followed were heavy with grief. It was almost another full week before my body recognized the loss of life inside me and then began the physical symptoms of miscarriage. The physical pain of miscarriage was overwhelming, the contractions sharp and unrelenting, but the emotional pain cut even deeper.

My heart ached in ways I didn’t know were possible. Yet through it all, God’s presence was my anchor. When nothing else made sense, I found hope in HIs word and His promises.

Some days, my prayers were filled with hope moving forward. While other days, I wrestled with my shattered dreams, knowing in my heart that God’s way is always better, yet struggling to understand it in that moment. Still, I was comforted by His word and promises. He didn’t take away the pain, but He carried me through it.

The Gift of Community in Our Grief:

While facing this grief and heartbreak, we were blessed with the gift of community. Our community reminded me that healing after a miscarriage doesn’t happen alone. Aside from a few painful comments, we were overwhelmingly showered with love. Friends sent heartfelt words and thoughtful gifts, family sat with us in our grief, and our faith community lifted us in prayer when we didn’t have the words.

Their kindness reminded me that God can show His love through people. When I struggled to carry the weight of my pain, others were there to lift us up. I am so deeply grateful for the support we received. It is an expression of God’s love.

Forgiveness, Grace, and Gentle Healing:

Still there were words from others that cut deep. Comments about announcing ‘too early’ or subtle suggestions that I had done something wrong brought guilt and shame that weren’t mine to carry.

But God keeps pressing forgiveness on my heart. Forgiving others for careless words and forgiving myself for listening to any lies the enemy tried to whisper. Forgiveness is an important and often difficult part of healing.

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)

Finding Hope and Healing after Miscarriage:

This wasn’t the ending we’d prayed for. I don’t fully understand why God allowed our baby’s heartbeat to stop. But I do know that He wastes nothing, not even pain.

Through this miscarriage, I’ve learned that pregnancy doesn’t always result in a baby in your arms, but it always results in a heart full of love. I carried our baby in my body for just a brief time, but we will forever carry our baby in our hearts.

I will keep trusting God’s plan, even when it hurts. Because He is still faithful. He is still good.

This closing has been hard to write as we are still walking this road of infertility. We haven’t had our ‘happy ending’ to this journey of infertility, at least not the way we’ve envisioned it. However, we have been learning to surrender to God’s plan and there has been so much peace and healing in trusting where he is leading us. We know he is still writing our story and there is so much beauty in it as we surrender to His plan and not our own.

For Anyone Walking this Road of Loss and Healing after miscarriage:

For anyone walking this road of infertility and loss, healing after a miscarriage is possible, even in the darkest seasons, because God is near. I want you to know you are not alone. Your grief is real. Healing through our first miscarriage has shown me the power of community, prayer, and God’s comfort in the darkest places.

Healing is not linear and the grief still resurfaces but God is close to us. Hold onto Him and let Him hold onto you.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

I’d love to hear from you, if you feel comfortable, share your story or a word of encouragement in the comments. Your words may be the very hope someone else needs today.

If you’d like to follow along with more of our journey, I often share updates and encouragement on Instagram and in my email newsletter (sign up below). If you’d like more inspiration, you can also read about my autoimmune diagnosis story and how this purely joyful life began.

Together we can hold onto faith, hope, and healing, one step at a time.

^{This post may contain affiliate links, meaning I get a small commission if you decide to make a purchase through my links, at no extra cost to you. I will only recommend products that I regularly use and love!}

Books for Healing after a Miscarriage or Infertility:

These are two of my favorite faith filled books that have helped me heal through our miscarriages and infertility journey:

• “Loved Baby” Devotional by Sarah Philpott
• “The Promise is His Presence: Why God is Always Enough” by Glenna Marshall